I’ve hit rock bottom for a couple of months. I had a hard time working on my health and beauty business, I can’t seem to find ways of working towards my dream job, and I can’t update my blog. I tried following the plan I’ve written in my notebook, but it doesn’t seem to work. I don’t know what’s wrong! I am really confused.
I shut down myself to people, because I feel so lost. I feel like with everything that’s happening to me right now, I can’t go anywhere. I can’t face the world being this mess.
Then… one night while everybody was asleep. A voice from my head forces me to get up and face my computer. Making me see the whole picture of what’s really wrong. I find myself browsing with stuff then I saw how pitiful I become, since I left my last job. I keep glancing my notes of “what I was before”; and “what I can become if I didn’t leave it”.
That made me stressed out! All the “what’s”— what not? what if? and what might have been? I screamed in silence. I am in this darkness again. I’ve been here before. And I’m not staying here. I don’t want to. It’s so scary being in that dark place. I gave up a lot of things already.
I closed doors, because it’s supposed to be closed. I should not look back and be guilty. I have to move forward and look for new doors. No matter how hard it become. No one can make a new door open for me, if I will stay still on where I’ve been. The path is long and curvy. I’m sure, I will find my way out of this mess, if I keep moving forward. Like what James Altucher share on this podcast.
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I am starting again! And I hope you will help me to move forward!
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